ran-dumb-ness

so its 4:10am and i'm still not sleep.

argh! i feel another bout of insomnia coming on. i need for this thing i'm waiting on to come through. i'm praying that i get it, i feel like it's mine already. i hope i find out later today, if not then on tuesday. i need some good news in my world, something to keep the motivation going.

so the olympics came to an end last night. so sad. now i'm like trying to figure out what i want to watch on the tube. it's weird how as i get older i stop watching tv. there is really nothing substantial on nowadays. the only days that i really watch tv are the days when my fave shows are on and i literally only watch tv for the hour they are on and then i am back on the computer or off doing other things. but when the olympics was on i was up every night watching like every event...so now i'm stuck in that mode and i want so badly to watch tv but there ain't nothing good on. wth man.

i know fall is coming because its starting to get lighter outside after 5am. :(

so starting next scratch that this sunday i'm going back to church. i have mixed feelings on this and will probaly do a separate blog on the topic. now i love the Lord and i believe in God, but its just the idea of church that drives me insane. i like the principal of it but its just that so much hypocritcizm (is that even a word?) and gossip goes on that it turns me off. but my mom and brother have talked the church up so i figure i'll give it a shot.

i'm still doing good on my abstinate stance. i don't know what the correct term is abstinence or celibacy, but in any case i'm still doing great. yay for no sex! lol. for reals, i cannot believe how taboo HIV/AIDS is in the black community, yet it is the #1 killer in black women between 25-30...freaking crazy. i'm just trying to mind my p's and q's and stay on top of my shit. if i'm going to have sex please believe its condom or no pussy okkkkkaaaaaaay!

ok its now 4:30am.
nite nite or shall i say good mornig. hehe