TMI..sorry.

ok this may be a little TMI, but this celibacy thing is mad crazy. everytime i decide to not have sex, i always hit like the 2 month mark and lose my damn mind. like i start seriously feening and having mad sexually explict dreams...lol. but i'm very strong minded, so i know i can do it. i've went half a year without it before so i know i can do this. i'm just not trying to be a statistic ya know...i'd rather not have sex than catch some random uncurable diesease. plus i'm trying to keep my number down...i ain't trying to run up the milege on my luxury vehicle...wink wink.

haha im outro

Sex & Celibacy

this post is only for the mature audiences.
lol
just kidding.

ok so i am currently in a zone(not the word i wanted to use, just couldn't think of anything better) where i am not wanting to have sex with anyone. i guess you could say that i am celibate until i find the right person. its weird how the dice land sometimes. what i mean by that is, last year after me and mk broke up i went through this phase of being a "player". i was dating a few guys at one time, and i broke a lot of my personal rules. i think it was because i was lonely and vulnerable after the break up and i let a lot of guys pass before even taking the exam (bad metaphor, i knw). although there were 2 main people that i dealt with on a regular basis, things seemed fine..that is until i checked back into reality. this year has been a lot better. i am comfortable with who i am so i no longer am in that vulnerable state of mind where i don't care what happens.

this year i have been intimate with 3 people total...2 were people who are close to my heart (meaning, i have a relationship that's longer than 6months with them) and one was out of drunkenness and immaturity) i haven't had sex for a month now and i'm planning on keeping it that way. i know i can do it, the longest i've went without it is 5 months..so this will be easy! i mean sex is a beautiful thing, but what's more important to me is that i am doing it with the right person and for the right reasons.

true story. i really don't like sex, it only feels good to me if i am doing it with someone who i truly have feelings for. but i am an extremly sexual person. weird, right?

i feel comfortable taking this step into celibacy because i feel like i have done it, and i know what i want. i don't want some random guy to have access to my goodies when i'm not going to get anything but 2 minutes of oh and aw in return. and i ain't trying to run up the miles on ms.kitty. lol

the next person that i have sex with will be someone who i am 100% committed to and who i will love wholeheartedly.

plus i'm not to keen on the idea of catching a STD. there are so many diseases going around and it seems like the numbers expand daily. no one is invisible from contracting some type of STD. i don't want to catch HIV or anything of that nature..that's something you can't get rid of (altho, i believe there is a cure and the government is holding out).

so the moral of this long story: sex is a wonderful thing when you are in love.

my mission: to refrain from all sexual activity, until i find love again.