*whoo-friggin-hooo* i'm on a roll, huh? lol

so i've been single for what, 2yrs and um 2months? something like that, but hey whose counting anyways!!

I'm officially over it, and by that i mean I am done with online dating, with trying to get a man, with searching high and low only to get a door slammed in my face...as much as i hate being single, i hate dating even more. its such a drag, i've had 2 great dates and i actually ended up liking both guys...but something weird happened with one where he just randomly decided he didn't like me and the other, oh i don't know its totally up in the air...

sometimes i lay in bed at night reminicing about how it was when i was with my ex...and thats bad. i never want to have flashbacks of previous relationships but that's the only thing that i have to keep me sane when i'm feeling lonely and unwanted. then there are times when i try so hard to settle my mind down at night but my thoughts keep racing around the same things "will i be single forever", "will i ever fall in love again", "will i always be just an after thought", "whats wrong with me"...i hate questioning my existence, but its so hard when i've only had one serious relationship and the rest were just guys in between who meant nothing and contributed only hurt and pain...

blah. i know that this isnt attractive, but everyone deserves one of these days.

So yes, i hate being single and i want nothing more than to share my time with another human being. Love is not on my side, but one day it will be....i just know it!

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