Why is losing weight so friggin hard

I am beating myself up inside because i honestly would have been at my goal weight if I would have just stuck to the damn working out on a daily basis! What the hell happened?!? I will tell you what happened, LIFE. This always happens to me and I am in no way complaining, just mad at myself because i didn't stick to it. I had a clear cut plan and i let go of the vision. i was already up against the wall, i didn't have support and i didn't have the tools i needed to be successful. my mind was right for the first month, nothing could keep me away from the gym...but then something happened and i started using the excuse that i was bored and that no one was in my corner...so i stopped going to the gym. I'm really bummed out about this because i had this all planned out, i wanted to jump start my year with 3 months of working out and then get on a regular schedule of going a couple day a week to maintain whatever i lost...but i wasn't stong enough--mentally. i let things get in the way and now i'm sitting here feeling like a failure. blah. okay enough of that.

Here's how i'm going to change this!

I am going to get over my past and anything else that got me to this point and that is holding me back. The only way to move forward is to let go...so i'm doing that now. It's gone. *whooosaaaahhhhhhhh* Next, I'm going to get back into a regular workout schedule starting today, literally today March 30th, 2009. If i don't go to the gym, i will be at a track or walking somewhere. After that, NO MORE Excuses! I am the queen of procrastination, i can stall and make excuses for just about anything, and that is stopping today! Nothing is more important than my health. I am also going to continue eating healthy once I mix this with my cardio things should be somewhat easier. And the last most important thing, I'm going to stop the SHOULDA, COULDA, WOULDA and i'm going to make sure that when i'm not doing anything, that i'm outside doing something. I still have time and i'm going to make the best of these next few months. Summer 09, is all about ME.

*whew* okay that felt great. I'm all in it this time...it's different, i can feel it.

Believe in me, Trust me, Support me.