It's Time To Get Into Shape!

so i just got done watching a very touching video on Youtube, i'll put the link down at the bottom.

so if you have read my earlier blogs then you know that i am struggling to overcome an eating disorder, so i have always gone back and forth when it comes to my weight but regardless of the struggle i have always maintained a healthy outlook on life. earlier this year i joined a gym with the hopes that i would be able to shed some pounds and hightale my butt back into shape. well with everything else in my world i started and stopped. but i can't help but feel like i need to not give up on this. i know that i need to lose weight and get back into the healthly range. it's hard because sometimes i get embarrased and discouraged. or i simply start feeling comfortable with myself and i settle back into my old habits. and like the saying goes, "old habits die hard" so its always tough to break away from them. but after watching this video and having a bit of words from the family i am taking a stand today to become healthy and i won't stop until i reach my goal.

i am fully aware that heart disease runs in my family and i know that the weight i'm at right now is not healthy and could put me in an early grave. i love living and i want to be here to enjoy life to the fullest.

so i am going to slowly start changing my eating habits, and i know its going to be hard with my bulemia and all, but i have to do it in order to save my life. i may not look huge, but i am overweight and i know i am. i want to be healthy and fit. although i am in shape for my size, i need to get this extra weight off my heart. my new plan is to slowly return to my old vegatarian ways. i am going to nix beef and pork out of my diet. and i am going to slowly get rid of chicken and fish. i am not calling this a diet because diets don't work, this is a lifestyle change...something that will be a foreever thing. starting today, fruits and veggies are my new best friend. whenever i go out to eat at restaurants i am going to stick with soups and salads. i am going to make sure that at home i am eating a salad with a light dressing every night. i also want to make a valid attempt to run/jog every morning. i really want to live the lifestyle of a jogger, they always seem so happy when they are running. i'm excited for this change. although this isn't anything new to my life, its more of a continuation of my pre-Vegas planning.

i am doing this for me and no one else. i need to get healthy for me!

Black people are SO unhealthy as a whole and I do not want to be a statistic.

so my goal is to go from my current weight to 150. its a big jump but i know i can do it! i lost 40 pounds so i know i can do the rest.

i am going to do my best to do a weekly blog updating everyone on my success. so if you are reading this please pray for me and wish me luck.


i'm just a party girl

oh my gosh, am I an alcoholic or what?? so earlier today i was browsing a drink menu and had the strongest craving for a few cocktails. i think i'm just ready to get my party on man. throughout the week i build up so much energy and by thursday i'm crunk and ready to drink and socialize. i just hope this weekend is fun and allows me to release this energy.

i don't know i used to tell people i was a party girl because i was. i was always out every weekend at the club or just on the scene period. but then i took a lil break and stopped going out as much. but now i'm just like shit, i'm young and i am loving life so i'm going to enjoy it. i'm a very social and outgoing person so i love getting out there and meeting new people and taking back a couple drinks. well maybe a lil more than a couple. lol

the good thing is, i love my friends...each and every one of them...yes there are times when they make me mad and annoy the hell out of me but at the end of the day i love being able to hang out with them and be myself. i remember there was a time when i was afraid to be myself around anyone, for fear of rejection. but now i am all about people getting to know the real me. so i love sitting around the table acting silly, its fun...its the stress relief i need. i look forward to it every week.

for some reason though this week i am looking forward to it more than usual. its like deep down i know this is going to be a great weekend but i don't know why. i can just feel the happiness. its great i love it.

so bottoms up everyone!

happy thursday!