Happy Nappy Me

Yes, this is me. :)

i have been natural for about a year and some change, i am enjoying the experience and loving my hair more and more everyday. i remember when i decided last february to do my BC, my relaxer had grown out and i had all this fun new growth that wanted to do its own thing. i was in the bathroom looking at my reflection, i found a pair of scissors and in a seconds impulse began snipping away at my long relaxed locks. as i watched my hair fall into the sink and on the bathroom floor i paused for a breif moment and stared at myself and asked "what are you doing?!?" all i could say was "being free" and i continued to snip away. when i finally finished i had about 3 inches of hair on the top and 1in on the sides and in the back. lol, i had somewhat of a mohawk. i stared at myself and smiled because i knew my mom would kill me for cutting my hair, but at that point i didn't care. i felt so free and i felt truly liberated. i can't express the feeling i felt when i decided to go natural and actual followed through with it. over the course of the next few months i tried different styles but in an effort to grow my hair opted for singles(braids)...during the fall i decided to let my newly grown afro filled with kinks and curls to fly free. i received so many compliments and questions and of course a few blank stares. last year was such a learning experience and i can truly say that going natural aided in my growth and maturity that i gained during 2008.

now its 4 months into 2009 and i am still in love with my hair, i found that i never needed a relaxer to began with because as my momma says i have that "good hair". recently i have been wearing it in a straight style by flat ironing it...today its in its natural state and poofier than ever. :). i find that i have so much more versatility with my natural hair, i can wear it straight, curly, afro, braids, locks, twists, anything i want i can do and i love it.

i have found it hard in the dating world with my natural hair, most black men say they love a women who has their own hair and would prefer her to be natural...i smell BS because since i have been natural i have only had a handful literally 5 black men compliment me on my natural hair. i even did a test where i walked into a room of black men (who i didn't know) once with my natural hair and again with a straight (european inspired) wig on. the results were crazy, i got more attention with the wig on than i did with what i was born with. that is why i have turned more towards other races, i find that men who are not black have more appreciation and respect for my decision to go natural. every white man that i have dated since has loved my hair and even called it a turn on, even asian (pacific islanders) have loved my hair...its crazy. so i guess it hasn't been hard just different.

OMGAH as expected i have veered of the main direction of what i wanted this entry to be about, but i've said enough. maybe i'll try again later :)

Another Shot at Love w/ Tayshia Starr

ahhh i'm stoked right about now, but i'm really trying to limit my level of excitment for fear of having my hopes crushed by reality. so let me fill you in on all the craziness since i'm sure you are staring at your screen wondering what the heck i'm talking about, ahh yea right. LOL

so for the last couple months i've been dating, well kind of dating this guy. he is 23 and in the navy, not orginally from the emerald city but currently stationed here. i remember the first date we had i wasn't sold on him at all, not because he was white (because i love men of all races), but more so because our personalities were so different. we were sitting in the cafe and i remember him smiling the entire time, i felt like i was a bit to bubbly for him because he was very mellow but i later found out that it was just nerves. we sat in that cafe for 4 hours talking about everything, we wanted to check out a movie but there were none showing for another hour so we obliged...and planned something for the following weekend. our next date was more simple, we watched a movie, had dinner, and chilled at his place...i had a wonderful time and i kept thinking how silly i was to pass him up just because he was too quiet. after our second date we planned to hang out again the next week, but something got in the way and we ended up not seeing each other for 2 months. he contacted me last month wanting to get together again, so i agreed to the idea. and here we are a few weeks later planning our 3rd date. he called me last night and we talked for about 20 minutes, although it seemed longer because we covered so much ground. we planned to do something on sunday, being that its easter i'm not sure how that will go but we shall see.

i'm a bit skeptical only because i have been let down so much in the past and i'm not sure if this is any different. i get the sense that he is very honest and that he has my best interest at heart so i'm going to just go with the flow and see how things go.

now on a different front i find myself thinking about the underlying factors that may pose an issue, well at least in the beginning if we were to decided to become exclusive. one that of him being in the navy. i have so much respect for the military men and women, but i'm not sure if that lifestyle is for me. i mean i can see the pros and cons and i feel comfortable saying that i probably could make it work, but it eventually becomes a LDR (long distance relationship) and those are typically in most cases prone to failure. he has already told me that he is deploying sometime in the summer/fall and he will be back on the east coast...so that makes me weary because i don't know how i would handle that. *le sigh* my other issue (which isn't a problem on my end) is his race, i am black and he is white. even though we are in 2009 and we have a bi-racial man in the white house there is still this stigma of black women being sellouts because the date white men. i don't care about the stares and the whispers because i'm comfortable with myself and i will love who i'm with regardless of what they look like. i'm more concerned about my family and his family and how that would work out...maybe i'm thinking a little too far ahead. :) but nonetheless, those are the only two issues that i see when it comes to him...i like him, he is a super great guy and he makes me laugh.

well i had no intention in this being an entire novel but hey..its early and my brain is warming up.

i will keep you updated on my date. wish me luck and send good prayers up to the big man for me. :)

xoxo tay