Just another manic monday

*AHHHHHHHHHHHHH* *bangs head against desk* so its monday afternoon and i have my little to do list going but everything is so easy that i'm holding off so that i will have something to do later this afternoon, is that bad? it's weird as much as i enjoy my job and the people i work with its so hard to stay enthused and energetic about it when its not my passion. some days i wake up and i wish i could be getting ready to head to the set or hit the streets to film my latest documentary. its so hard when mentally this work doesn't stimulate me but realistically the money ain't that bad so i'm in a position where i have to make it work. and i must say that this is not no where near as bad as it was when i worked here last year and ended up quitting. Sometimes i regret that decision but hey i was able to come back so its whatever, but i knew that it wasn't a good fit and when you don't get along with your manager you might as well pull the trigger before they do, right? anyways, i got off track....i love my manager in this new group, so its not that...i'm just bored. this always happens and i try to be "adult" about it and make myslef stick it out because this is not the time to be getting bored with anything that is bringing money to the bank, ya know?! recently i've been working on my docs hoping that i can get that going and just kind of have that stimulate me enough until i can start making money off it and leave the corporate world for the second time!

its crazy when you know what you were born to do but you aren't doing it. and then people criticize you when you can't really do anything about it, sorry but i enjoy making money and i'm not going to give it up just yet. LOL, if i was skinny i would be a stripper just so i could fund my dreams...serioulsy them bitches make benjamin frank-a-lins (in the spirit of Flo Rida) and i don't have that kind of money and at the rate i'm working i won't have it until close to the end of the year...and i'm not sure i can last that long in this place.

i don't know, i'm happy, but not satisfied. it's like being with the love of your life, he/she makes you so happy but they can't satisfy you in the bedroom...you end up feeling disappointed and feeling like blah, what the hell man?!?