Wild Out Wednesday

man what a night i had on wednesday. i haven't been out on the scene and had that much to drink in such a long time...i don't even know what was going on in my mind. i kind of started the night off with the mindset of i'm here to have fun and i'm only going to drink a little because i know i have to get my butt to work in the morning. but all that went to hell once i got to seattle. the plus side is that i didn't have to buy my drinks, i was so lucky to strike up conversation with this nice guy who ended up buying me 2 drinks which successfully fucked me up.

after that the nights a blur, lets just say i didn't make it home until 2 in the afternoon on thrusday, which means i didn't make it to work. just to touch a little on why i didn't make it home...well i almost made it home. i got back to my car and my phone was being blown up by the douche bag (eariler post) and of course in my drunken state i fell into his trap and ended up back in seattle...oh man. i'm sitting here having flashbacks which aren't half bad, but still...i'm left asking myself why did i go there AGAIN! as if the last time wasn't enough. i swear if people only knew how many times this has happened...they would be shocked. i think what makes it worse for me is that he is so shady about it. like the first time it happened, it was real random and extremely unexpected. but good enough to go back a second, third, fourth...etc, you get the picture. but its like when we are in the same place things are so awkward, i think its because we know the same people and are run in the same crowds...and people i think want to see how we react to each other. the funny thing is we have this secret code...like we will make eye contact for a few seconds and its within those seconds that we know if we are going to kick it old school or not...i don't really have an issue with him, but i do feel like he has issues. i mean, i think he doesn't want people to know he actually enjoys hanging with me which is weird because there ain't nothing wrong with me...*sigh* ok let me get off this train before i share too much.

waking up in someone else's house after a crazy night of partying is so weird. i just wanted to be at home in my own bed, but i was so far away. the drive to my car was so weird, i couldn't remember anything..just bits and pieces. when i got to my car my windows were down...i must have been really drunk to leave my car in some strange parking garage overnight. lol. when i got home i was bombarded with texts and phone calls about the night before....oh man so random.

so now i might be going on this no drinking for 30 days challenge with the bff but looking at my calendar of events, i'm not so sure that will happen, but hey let's keep hope alive! here's to day 1 of being sober.

Never Again!

what a nite! 6.28.08

first off. welcome to my blog. this is my first entry on here...
so let's get to the juicy stuff...mmk?!

last nite started off like a typical friday nite. i went to meet up with my friends, had a couple shots and then we were off to the club. the only thing that was different, i drank e&j..which is a blended brandy..i think it may have hennesy in it, but i'm not sure. anyways. just a lil background. i can't drink hennesy, southern comfort, and now i guess brandy too...they all make me super emotional, angry, and violent.

now back to the story.

so we are at the club, everything is fine and dandy. i started to feel super left out, so i walked out the club to get some air. i ended up stumbling over to the car and just sitting there waiting until everyone came out. then i started crying. and i mean seriously boo-hooing. and it was for no reason at all. i was just crying. finally my friends come out and they see me sitting on the sidewalk crying my eyes out, so their intial thought was that someone did something to me. so then they like started trying to get me up and put me in the car but like i said that dark shit makes me violent so i started pushing them away. they were doing a lil extra. like they were seriously attracting attention to me and it was not necessary. anyways. after a lil scuffle they get me in the car, but i exited out the other door. and went to sit on the wall. they found me and back into the car i went. as we were driving off, this violent energy ran through my body and i started pounding on the window and trying to get out the car. everyone in the car was screaming at me to shut up, which made matters worse. so then i started calling everyone bitches and whatnot..lol..too much. and then i started crying AGAIN. long story short, i think i broke my hand from pounding on the window..and the funny part about all of this, all i wanted was a phone. i just needed to make a phone call and no one would let me use their phone. oh wells. moral of the story, stay away from dark liquor! no more shots for me. next time i'm at the bar, its going to be water on the rocks for me. :)