update on my weight loss journey

so part of the reason that i've been MIA is that i have been working out hard in the gym...seriously like every day. its crazy but oh so worth it. i started on May 1st, i have invested in a personal trainer and the body bug...which work very well together. even though i haven't had a tremendous loss in weight i feel healthier, i have a better understanding of my eating habits and how those calories affect my progress. so far i have lost 10 pounds, which is by no means a fail...at first i felt like i wasn't working out hard enough, but honestly i'm on target...and i'm learning as i lose which i had never done before. before i would hit the gym for hours and not eat at all...i would drop 20 pounds in a couple weeks and then put it right back on a month later. this time i'm making a life change and like my favorite saying goes "slow and steady wins the race".

it hasn't been easy. let me tell you chile i started out strong in week one, i lost my first 10 pounds that week, during week 2 it was mothers day and my brothers birthday so i had SO much food and i got lazy that week, i didn't work out for 4 days and you guessed it, i put back on every pound. so week 3 was like starting all over again, but i pushed myself harder that week...i started jogging outside and hitting the gym so i was able to drop those 10 pounds, and this week has been a success as well.

i am really finding it easy to gain motivation from situations that have occurred in the past week or so..

my trainer is great, i see him a couple times a week and he finds ways to keep my interested. i love having someone dedicated to my success. and i love my body bug, although i have to wear it all the time and it can sometimes be noticeable, i like being able to see how many calories i burn throughout the day and compare those to the calories that i am consuming. it definitely helps with making better choices when i eat.

i'm trying to get right for my vegas birthday extravaganza!! i whole heartedly believe that i will make it to my goal weight, it makes me excited to think about what i will look like and the things that i will finally be able to wear. its a great feeling to be able to believe in your future and in yourself.

Why is losing weight so friggin hard

I am beating myself up inside because i honestly would have been at my goal weight if I would have just stuck to the damn working out on a daily basis! What the hell happened?!? I will tell you what happened, LIFE. This always happens to me and I am in no way complaining, just mad at myself because i didn't stick to it. I had a clear cut plan and i let go of the vision. i was already up against the wall, i didn't have support and i didn't have the tools i needed to be successful. my mind was right for the first month, nothing could keep me away from the gym...but then something happened and i started using the excuse that i was bored and that no one was in my corner...so i stopped going to the gym. I'm really bummed out about this because i had this all planned out, i wanted to jump start my year with 3 months of working out and then get on a regular schedule of going a couple day a week to maintain whatever i lost...but i wasn't stong enough--mentally. i let things get in the way and now i'm sitting here feeling like a failure. blah. okay enough of that.

Here's how i'm going to change this!

I am going to get over my past and anything else that got me to this point and that is holding me back. The only way to move forward is to let go...so i'm doing that now. It's gone. *whooosaaaahhhhhhhh* Next, I'm going to get back into a regular workout schedule starting today, literally today March 30th, 2009. If i don't go to the gym, i will be at a track or walking somewhere. After that, NO MORE Excuses! I am the queen of procrastination, i can stall and make excuses for just about anything, and that is stopping today! Nothing is more important than my health. I am also going to continue eating healthy once I mix this with my cardio things should be somewhat easier. And the last most important thing, I'm going to stop the SHOULDA, COULDA, WOULDA and i'm going to make sure that when i'm not doing anything, that i'm outside doing something. I still have time and i'm going to make the best of these next few months. Summer 09, is all about ME.

*whew* okay that felt great. I'm all in it this time...it's different, i can feel it.

Believe in me, Trust me, Support me.